Giving up Something Good for Something Better.

Thursday, January 17, 2013

Hope Guides

"Hope guides me.
It is what gets me through the day, 
and especially the night."
- A Knights Tale

Hope keeps me thinking: All is not lost.
It is not too late, we have not gone too far.

I sit at home, alone. Watching Mad Men.

Doing sit ups.

I haven't eaten anything today. 

Yesterday I ate some soup broth, three carrots,
and a handful of craisins. 

I can't say I am happy, 
but my mind is calm.

It's not like being in a fog;
it's as if I am the fog.

Calm, sober, silent. 
Drifting along without much to say.

No one can understand this place but us.

Anyway... I bought a new scale.
It's kept me focused.

Since I recently started blogging again I have fasted twice.
I am very happy with that... I think.

It feels like I am somewhere else.

There's so much to be happy about, so much celebration going on in my life.
My birthday is tomorrow.

But I can't touch it. I don't think I can touch anything.
I feel like I've locked my heart away again.

Thank you for the comments on my last blog,
and Olivia - I have missed your blogs very much. I still think of them. :) 
I am glad to be back here.

I feel very wrapped up in the shame of my failure, after so many blogs about how great I am 
at losing weight and living life, ha! I hope you still accept me as I am.


Love and hugs to all of you out there.


  1. Hi doll. :) I hope all is well. Come visit me.

  2. Awe, Happy Birthday!

    Hope is never lost, sometimes I think we forget about what inspires us and allows us to continue.

    “No matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow.”
    ― Maya Angelou

  3. I also love all of the photos on your site!

  4. I love your blog; I hope you update soon!

  5. OMG I just realized that I posted on this before. I'm like a real life stalker and I didn't even do it intentionally. Sorry for blowing up your blog-space!

    I think I just like the photos!





These are my opinions. You do not have to share them. If you disagree with me, please leave. If you are receiving treatment and do not wish to relapse, close this page. Neither you nor I can force the other to start or stop extreme dieting. You are here by choice. Extreme dieting is not good for you and I do not "suggest" or "endorse" it. However I will support you if you already feel the same as I do.