Time was measured by progress but
things were deteriorating so rapidly
that one felt time was going backwards.
Time to Start Again
I woke up today and didn't feel like restricting at all. My stomach growled, the smell of french toast and coffee wafted up through creaky floorboards to my second-story bedroom, rain crashed against my window outside and everything seemed like a lost cause. I looked in the mirror, my face devoid of makeup, my hair a pile of tangles atop my head, my tongue looking horrid... I started to imagine wandering down to the warmth of the properly heated portion of the house, wrapped in fleece and settling in with a big mug of hot cocoa, a plate piled high with pancakes drowned in syrup and a nice big stack of smoked sausage...
But then I remembered that it's Monday. A new start, a good time to make things right.
Besides, we didn't have any sausage.
So I prepared myself for battle, alone in my room, touching my enormous thighs and examining my bulging stomach (still stuffed with yesterday's failures), eventually getting up the strength to get dressed and make my bed, then clean my room until it sparkled. By the time I was done it was well after breakfast. I felt ready to face today, finally.
I came downstairs not to the scent of breakfast delights but my sister's mid-day munchies, popcorn (with butter she melted separately and poured over the already fattening treat, followed by copious amounts of salt), double-stuffed Oreos, and ramen noodles. She's built like a twig. Not perfect by my standards, but by all means she should be the size of a bus with the way she eats. Should I mention that as I type this she has moved on to a bowl of icecream, topped with caramel, whipped cream and tipsy cherries?
Somehow, through all of it, I stayed strong. The motivation of this Fresh New Start kept me going I think. I ate an apple and brewed some hot green tea.
Also I've decided to re-work how my posts are, yet again. Not that it matters to anyone but me, but I'll keep my intake log down by my calendar. I think it makes better sense. And I'm going to start keeping track of what I'm drinking.
Breakfast: An Apple (35 cal)
2 cups iced green tea (0 cal)
1 cup hot green tea (0 cal)
Calorie Calendar (4/4 - 4/10)
Calorie Goal :: Calorie Total :: • Met Goal :: • Over Goal :: • Incomplete
This Week's Excess Calories: --