You've had so much food in your life,
and you will have more.
But you will not get the chance to be thin
unless you dedicate yourself to it,
and that includes the hard times,
not just when it's easy to be strong.
I swear, I need to get "Keep Calm & Carry On" tattooed on my hand or something! I know it's so simple and silly but really, it's helping me so much. When I get that "STUFF YOUR FACE" urge and I say it to myself, it's like a reboot. It's so great.
Anyway, sorry for such an insane post last night. I realize now that it was actually a pretty normal, almost healthy portion size. It was not a binge, it was just more than I was hoping for, and it's okay. It's really okay. And I didn't purge and I didn't continue to eat more when I got home, so I can forgive, forget and carry on. I also worked out as much as I could on a full stomach and got a good nights sleep. Everything is going to be okay. ;)
It seems like there's always one day a week that circumstances force me to eat extra, and maybe it's good for me. Maybe it's keeping my metabolism alive and kicking. So maybe I should allow myself one day a week, whatever day it should happen, to eat "normal". Maybe that's a healthier approach.
Also I have yet again not had a single opportunity to weigh myself. It was sort of blowing my mind and frustrating me beyond all reason and then I realized why it was happening: Everyone's on spring break. The house is bustling with life and activity. No wonder! Next week will be back to normal of course. I'm so silly!
It seems like a lot of us want to be healthier lately, and I have to say, I want to do the same. I just don't want to gain weight from it... It's hard but I feel like I can find a balance. I think I'm going to start by eating little snacks throughout the day, instead of one small breakfast and nothing until dinner, and just keep my activity level up all day. I've read that's the best way to go and it should hurt my weight.
Also, yesterday I didn't have any tea and my bloating has gone away almost overnight. It was really quite the ridiculous pooch, I looked pregnant if I let it stretch my stomach out enough. So I was reading up on stomach bloat and the things that caused it, because it was clearly not fat (I can feel fat, it's solid, you know) and it would disappear if I tightened my stomach muscles. So I was sort of baffled as to what was going on.
Anyway, I discovered a long list of things that can cause us to bloat, and it's basically your gastrointestinal tract becoming inflamed or irritated from certain foods, drinks and gases. And caffeine as well as sugar alcohols in artificial sweeteners are two of the top causes! Of course. So I am going to have to lessen my tea intake, but I'm going to hold off on drinking any until I get it completely under control. I'll share with you everything I found out next week, when I do another post with info & resources. :)
In Response to Your Comments
Sorry this is way overdue again!
Alex - Thank you so much for all of the support and love! <3 I really truly appreciate it. I apologize for my comment on your blog being rather blunt lol, I just feel strongly about it, and I know what it's like to feel like your problems aren't valid. I struggled with the decision to blog at all because of how people judge the "pro ana community". But I also think no one realizes just how diverse the community is, and just how widely ranged our feelings, opinions, problems, methods and lives all are. Anyway, you are a beautiful, wonderful person and don't let anyone make you feel inferior or invalid for any reason. <3 Stay strong hon.
Determined Girl - Thank you so much, you are so sweet! I'm so glad I can inspire you. <3 Stay strong, I'm sending lots of love and hugs! :)
Cara - Yeah, I definitely need to get serious about preventing aging, my eyelids are definitely starting to show some signs and I am the same, it seems to overwhelming, there's so many products. But reading stuff online is really helpful,
** I will reply to more when I have time.
I've suddenly become rather sick. :( Hopefully will be able to update tomorrow.
<3 Love you all.
Breakfast: An apple (50 cal)
Dinner: Steak, potatos, salad (~400 cal)
Fluids: Lots of Water (0 cal)
Total: • 450 cal
(Today's Goal: 500)
Calorie Calendar (4/11 - 4/17)
Calorie Goal :: Calorie Total :: • Met Goal :: • Over Goal :: • Incomplete
Weight Loss: 0 lbs :: Weight Gain: 0 lbs
|Calories||• 320||• 330||• 280||• 900||•450||400||300|
Weight Loss: 0 lbs :: Weight Gain: 0 lbs
✔ Weekly Goals ✔
• 107 lbs by the end of the week
• Download new work out music