I'm going to do what it takes.
Because I want it more than anything
Today's "meals" were pretty similar to yesterday.
A small bowl of mandarin orange and peach slices in (all natural) juice. (No sugar)
Then a home-made "trail mix" of craisins, peanuts and cheerios.
I didn't measure because I was in a hurry, but I'd say it was about a cup all-total and I ate about half of it between hikes outside, in the snow.
Plus about six eight-ounce glasses of tea, some mixed with a pinch of apple juice.
But dinner hasn't gotten here yet. And you know what?
I'm going to fuckin' purge it. First of all though, I'm going to eat as little, as slowly and chew it as much as possible. Then I'm going to purge it.
I don't care if purging it bad. I really, really don't.
I want to try Zumba. There's a million infomercials on about it, and it looks like a great idea. Dancing has already helped me change my body so much. But I'm way too awkward and clumsy to go to a class... I wish I could afford it. Siiiigh.
I'm sure there's a way to pirate it online though, hahaha. I know, I suck.
So I'd say I'm back to my under-500 calorie daily diet. I don't know how I jumped back into it without much thought.... Okay, that's a lie. It's all I think about. I just expected to really have to sit myself down and smack my fatass around a bit to get me to really listen and change, haha.
I feel like I'm really back on track, finally!!
Oh, but I was an asshole to myself again today and weighed after eating. Down three pounds from yesterday's freak weigh-in, lmfao. So.... Yeah. I really need to weigh in the morning. I just don't get the chance to lately. Fudge!! I am such a loser. OH HELL. I mean well.
ALSO: Thank you SO SO SO SO much, Skinny_El, for giving my blog an award! I am so, so touched. It means a lot that my blog means something to you...
It's kinda weird in a way. I wouldn't be even slightly interested in "normal" peoples' blogs.
I really wouldn't. But I LOVE to read every little detail you guys write down, even if it's about your shoes or your dog or your shitty parents or the paint drying on your wall. I find myself in love with your blogs.
I wish we could be friends IRL. I want someone to talk to about these things so badly, but this is as close as I can get... It sucks, but I love you guys, and I can't wait to sit down and make some choices on who to pass that award on to!! <3 <3 <3 Stay tuned. ;)
Ohhh and, I added some music. I hope that's not annoying! It's mostly happy-go-lucky retro stuff, partly because it's so ironic and partly because I love old timey music. Specifically stuff from the 20's-40's. And some 50's and 60's. Lol! And if I could get my hands on more stuff from the early 1900-10's I would love that too!!
I may post again after dinner. But for now, back to my yoga mat for a few hundred more crunches and squats!!
& THINK THIN THOUGHTS