Giving up Something Good for Something Better.

Sunday, March 13, 2011

Time for Extremes.

When you're cooking, make sure you chew gum at the same time 
so you won't be tempted to take little bites of the stuff you're cooking.
- Just a random thin tip -

What's in my Tummy?
Well. This morning, there were pancakes for breakfast - but I feigned a stomach ache and didn't have ANY. Not even a bit of bacon! There were some apples sliced up to go with the pancakes so I had a few slices.

Breakfast: 0 cal.

 Snack: 1 apple, 1 orange. 95 cal

Then, I had to go out to dinner to celebrate my mum's birthday. Thankfully, it was a chain restaurant that put the calories on the menu. I chose a steak and shrimp dish that was 525 calories and a side of sweet potato. I had maybe 1/3 of the 6 oz steak, three shrimp, a good helping of the steamed broccoli, and a few bites of the sweet potato. I don't know how many calories I consumed exactly, but I don't really trust that that WHOLE dish was 525 calories anyway. 

Dinner: 500 cal ...maybe?

Ugh but then of course there had to be cake. I shared a slice with my sister, we didn't finish it, but I had several bites. :( 

Dessert: ~100 cal. :(

Somewhere around 695 calories for today.

All in all, for a birthday at a restaurant, I think I did pretty good, especially for trying to climb back on the wagon still. 

And you know what? This success might just be what I needed. I came home and worked out for about an hour, and I've been pacing and stair climbing all night lol. I've been reading through diet tips and ana websites when I need a break, and I've loaded my MP3 up with thinspo so I can watch a slide show of it while I fall asleep tonight!!

And you know what else?


I am back on this wagon!
I want to be a lovely little doll, I want to feel bone under flesh. 

And I want to feel better.
Better than how I feel right now, better than the girls I envy. 

After doing this for several years I know how to tell if I'm really back on the wagon or only halfheartedly telling myself that I'm "back on track" in the hope of convincing myself I really am, when I know I'm not (if that makes sense). And I'm back. 100%. Tomorrow it's going to be 110% and I'm going to push harder than ever. I feel so good about this.

I need to be irresistible to my boy. I need to have a body that will make him CRAVE me when I'm gone. Come on, who wouldn't want that?

I want to be crave worthy.

And I'm ready to get there.

I feel so good about this. I'm not going to let myself down again. 

<3 I love you girls. Thank you for being here when I have no one else.
Thank you for not judging, for just letting me... be free.


Stay strong!


  1. girl, you seem so motivated! It's making me want to be good today too, haha. I think the dinner went really well, you may want to even check the dinner cals, because it could be lower. Sending you skinnies darling, its go good to have you back :)

  2. Birthdays are always horrible and I thank my lucky stars I have a huge family so I can pick at my food relatively unnoticed. You did amazing for a chain restaurant! Most of their foods can be so calorie high and the whole place just smells amazing. If you can survive that with 625 cals getting back on the wagon should be no sweat :)




These are my opinions. You do not have to share them. If you disagree with me, please leave. If you are receiving treatment and do not wish to relapse, close this page. Neither you nor I can force the other to start or stop extreme dieting. You are here by choice. Extreme dieting is not good for you and I do not "suggest" or "endorse" it. However I will support you if you already feel the same as I do.