Giving up Something Good for Something Better.

Thursday, April 7, 2011

Rise and Shine!

It's a good day.
Rise and Shine!

I woke up early today, thus the morning post! I feel like I have more energy today, thank god because I have a lot of driving to do later, running errands and whatnot. I was so afraid I'd be in a fog and that's scary. I've only got three days of restricting under my belt but I think I'm already making some progress. Monday's weigh-in is starting to make me anxious, which is good I suppose. It's keeping me focused, though I still feel miserable about last night's "emergency" toast with jam.

So, I got up, made myself some green tea and cut up an orange, which I ate half of, then took a hike with my mum and dogs before eating the second half.

Today's goal was suppose to be the lowest this week, but I think it's a bad idea, considering everything I have to get done today. So, today will be 500 and the weekend will be lower, since the weigh-in will be right around the corner - yikes!

I'm so, so scared of this weigh-in. :( I haven't weighed in what feels like an eternity, I highly doubt I'm at 110 anymore and it feels like I'm on the verge of a broken heart... 

Ana says I need to suck it up. I did this to myself and that number is going to suck. I'm going to have to face the reality of my mistakes. It's better to know that number than just hoping and praying that I'm losing but never really knowing. Yes, I have to face this beast head on if I'm going to change. 

I'm in it for the long haul this time. Which really isn't that far, I guess. Only 10-15 lbs I suppose, hopefully no more. Though, I don't know if 100 is going to be enough. It seems like I have WAY more than that to lose. We'll see when we get there!

OKAY done rambling, I promise! I'll update my intake later!
Also I added more to my Links page, you should check it out!

And as always, thank you for the love and support, it keeps me going! :) <3 

 Afternoon Update

So, running errands today was kind of like... hell. Thank god I was so nervous while driving that the adrenaline kept me alert for that, but once I got to a store/destination I just totally lost the ability to think straight. Dear god, why is this diet kicking my ass all of a sudden? I don't recall EVER feeling this way. Those binges must have been super bad. :(

And then my sister kept bitching about how she was "starving to death" and I was like, seriously? Bitch, please. You've already had three meals, more than your weight in snacks, haven't gained an ounce, and I'm running on empty while looking like a fat cow. Maybe I could get you a nice tall glass of Shut The Fuck Up, does that sound good?

Though at the same time, it was sort of nice, I have to admit... I felt empty and airy, disconnected and almost felt like I was floating.. I don't mean I'm thin, I really don't, I'm sure I sound like such a dilusional fat ass, but... I did feel good.

Anyway. Needed something to give me strength to unload groceries and giant bags of dog, cat, and bird food, so I had a dried prune (the Sunkist Ones) and 4 of them are 100 calories, so I just had one. 

I don't know what dinner will be yet. Sorry for such long posts, this is just such a great way to keep myself from eating and I really am hungry right now. 

Rule #1: If you feel hungry, you're doing it right.
And don't forget about Skinny_El's contest!

Today's Intake
Breakfast: An orange (50 cal)

Lunch/Snack: 1 dried prune (25 cal)

Dinner: --

Fluids: Iced Pomegranate Green Tea x1 (0 cal)
Mango and Passion fruit Green Tea x1 (0 cal)

Total: --

Calorie Calendar (4/4 - 4/10)
Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday Sunday
485 230 275 75 400 300
 Calorie Goal :: Calorie Total :: Met Goal :: Over Goal :: Incomplete 
Over-Goal Calories: 0  :: Under-Goal Calories: 210

Weekly Goals:
Weigh-in on Monday April 11th & incorporate weight to my chart
 Write-up a new work out routine and schedule by the end of the week


  1. I find that when i'm smaller, i feel bigger. So don't worry! It may be the case with you. You might be 110 still (: Good luck with the weigh-in though! I'm sure you'll be fine.
    I know what you mean with 100 not being enough, i've decided to see when i'm there, but i don't see how another 15lbs could be enough. I still see a fat ass! It's not nice. Just be careful!
    Stay strong hun, you're doing great!
    El xox

  2. Try to keep the worrying at a min darling, you are losing and that's all that matters! Whatever you weigh as on monday, add like 5lbs and that's probably what you weighed before, or more. You are great, keep it up!

  3. Thanks for following me! I'm so glad you like my blog :) You sound like such a sweetie :)

    Focus on doing better next time. Concentrate on doing the best you can because you're worth it.

    Fat free love xx




These are my opinions. You do not have to share them. If you disagree with me, please leave. If you are receiving treatment and do not wish to relapse, close this page. Neither you nor I can force the other to start or stop extreme dieting. You are here by choice. Extreme dieting is not good for you and I do not "suggest" or "endorse" it. However I will support you if you already feel the same as I do.