I am a far cry from the girl I was those years ago.
It's strange to find myself looking back into this world, a world that use to be mine.
I am turning 21 in less than ten days.
In some ways, I am stronger. In others, I have become weak.
I can't say I've made any great self improvements.
I can't say there's much to be proud of this birthday.
But I feel stable. I feel ready.
I want, I need, this year to be my year.
I want to become so much more than I am today.
I spent today reflecting on everything.
Most especially reflecting on the things I have neglected:
My body, my diet, my wardrobe, my self worth.
I have come to a single conclusion:
There is no other option left.
There is no other way I can be happy in who I am,
without taking care of my neglected body.
I have so much to be happy for in my life, so much to take pride in.
And I am dishonoring all of it by not being happy.
I can not be happy without being thin.
I can't say I'll be blogging often, or regularly at all.
I can say that the next time you hear from me, I promise you,
I will be on the right path.