A Far Cry

I am a far cry from the girl I was those years ago.

It's strange to find myself looking back into this world, a world that use to be mine.

I am turning 21 in less than ten days.

In some ways, I am stronger. In others, I have become weak.

I can't say I've made any great self improvements.

I can't say there's much to be proud of this birthday.

But I feel stable. I feel ready.

I want, I need, this year to be my year. 

I want to become so much more than I am today.

I spent today reflecting on everything. 

Most especially reflecting on the things I have neglected:

 My body, my diet, my wardrobe, my self worth. 

I have come to a single conclusion:

There is no other option left.

There is no other way I can be happy in who I am,

without taking care of my neglected body.

I have so much to be happy for in my life, so much to take pride in.

And I am dishonoring all of it by not being happy.

I can not be happy without being thin.

I can't say I'll be blogging often, or regularly at all.

I can say that the next time you hear from me, I promise you, 

I will be on the right path.